Dhoni + Sakshi = Sreesanth + :( :( :D ????

Dhoni got married to his childhood friend sakshi.. Great, atleast there was someone to marry him. But what about Sreesanth alias Gopumon? I don’t think his childhood friends will be willing to marry him. If you quote his words his childhood friends are Bipasha Basu, Priyanka Chopra, Lakshmi Rai,Preity Zinta etc. And these girls/women/aunties are generally not interested in marriage. Eventhough he met them for the first time only after becoming a cricketer, he is ready to accept them as his childhood friends. Quite great!! Only great people posess this extraordinary ability to make childhood friends at the age of twenty five. Evenif someone agrees to marry him, there exists one more hurdle to cross. I know it’s not good to tell everyone about his disease, but I have to save a girl’s life.

‘Agressive Disorder’ that’s what medical world calls it. Gopumon tried everything to get rid of this disease. He went to Australia and mocked at Symonds, Danced like a monkey,screamed like an idiot. Still nothing happened. At last he got the right treatment from a Sardarji from Punjab. After the ‘Slap therapy’ we could see agreession flowing out of his body through his eyes. And now, he is a reformed person, who doesnt have any work, interviews, dance shows. Absolutely nothing to do.BCCI has taken him to Srilanka just to frighten the remaining LTTE people. And now inspired by Dhoni, Gopumon also thinks that there will be atleast one girl in India who neither watches cricket nor reads news paper, will agree to marry a sick man. And he has put an advetisement on the newspapers to grab the attention of girls. Girls who are fed up of their life or parents who want to take a revenge on their daughter may read on. And you, if you don’t have any other work and nothing in your hand to break the monitor go on. Children, old people and pregnant women are requested not to continue.

1. Bride is not required to know cooking, but should know worshiping. Girls who have won gold medal in witchcraft will get preference. a priest or witch who can dance is the right combination

2. Even after marriage Gopumon’s first wife will be cricket. He will continue to sleep with cricket and will give birth to cricket babies, and you are not suppossed to call them cheer girls. If bride gets bored she can read the sms sent by Sharukh Khan to Gopumon.

3. He will continue calling and chatting with his childhood friends Priyanka and Lakshmi. He will lift up Lakshmi again and again , and will pose for photos. The photos will be published on internet by himself. Bride is allowed to write comments

4. The bride may have to leave for punjab for a month to get trained in Slap therapy. It will be more convenient to have a handkerchief always with her so that she can wipe out the agression coming out of Gopumon’s eyes occassionally.

5. Honeymoon will be celebrated in either new zealand or west indies and the bride should posess a valid passport. After coming back from honeymoon, she is suppossed to speak only in english. She may call amma by mummy . she may call her father in law by name. And if she wants to speak in malayalam she should insert words like’I know, you know, but,may be,I am the great’ etc in between.

6. Girls who posess map that got the list of all the temples in India will get preference. And If the bride has her own video camera she has the option to make her husband follow her always like a street dog

7. Every night, before entering the bedroom she should look at the camera and act as if she is praying. It is hard for Gopumon to pitch the ball at the right spot always, so if he throws any wide balls she should place her hand on her head and start scratching like a monkey to express aggression. And for ‘no balls’ the bed sheet should be blamed. One thing should be remembered, bedsheets from Southafrica are better. And whatever happens the match will go on. If Gopumon gets injured bride has the option to avail substitute and continue playing. And if you lose your dignity, just take a bath with Parachute Shampoo, impression will be changed.

8. And last but not the least, should worship Misbah Ul haq daily and send messages to sardarji asking whether his ‘maa ki’ is fine. And instead of good night just add ‘hard luck’ for sardarji.

If the above conditions are satisfied please send your horoscopes. The selected cadidates will be sent to MRF pace foundation for training. And the most talented girl will be selcted through an auction process by Sachin, Dhoni and Priety Zinta. And after proving her physical fitness to be a wife she will be given choices of three temples . The contract will be signed at any of the above temples and the it will be valid for next two years. Rest will be decided by BCCI on the basis of performance.